Why do we wait for someone to die or be diagnosed with a life threatening Dis-Ease before we tell them how we truly feel, how they made a difference in our lives, what memories you have with them that you will always treasure…Why do we wait?
Below is an email that was sent to a group, including myself, from my brother John who has ALS.
#59 update, Ploy,
I used to do these updates weekly, then monthly, now I’m sorry for not writing anything in over two years. You have to understand, I only have my computer for about three hours that I’m able to write. Take into account that I do emails for an hour, plus I’m addicted to Comcast On Demand, Netflix and the stupid stupid card game Heart’s!!! If my neck muscle’s will allow it, I’ll try to do better from now on?
When I first got out of the Navy, I was visiting my sister Renee, she told me that her neighbor, Chuck Soreweed was dying of cancer. I went to high school with Chuck. Renee asked me if I would like to go see him? I had some classes with Chuck, but was not friends with him, so at that time, I could not see any reason why?
When Sherrie Hancock had breast cancer, I thought about going to see her and asked if her and her husband needed anything? After all, we were in the Seattle area twice per month for my daughter’s soccer games. I simply never made the time!!!
After Jeff Spellman had his swimming accident, I was talking to his mom at church. Asking how he was doing? She said that he does not remember a lot of the past, but he sure remembers me! I took that as a sign from God to do something??? I thought about giving him a job, but after talking to his brother, I found out that Jeff had just started rehab and was not able to do anything for about ten minutes before needing to rest. So I just went on without doing anything.
It was not until a brother of mine from my Navy days came out to see me one day. He was in Portland from Missouri on business when he stopped by. He only had twenty minutes to visit, and that was wonderful, but what really impacted me was the email that he sent me after. You will see why after reading it.
Sure was good seeing you again, Laddie buck,
I have to admit I was really nervous about seeing you again. At first I didn’t know if I could, my heart was about to jump out of my chest on the way to your house, with each mile that clicked by on the GPS, my heart was beating faster and faster. I was holding the tears back. I knew in my heart that you would come to see me if our lives were reversed, and I needed to suck it up and do what’s right. You were right when you said that it is easier not to come and see you or acknowledge your condition, but it’s usually not the easy route that is the right route. I won’t have that anxiety the next time I see you and Lisa. You are the same old Johnny I’ve known for years. The strength and attitude you have inspires me to be a better person. I think about you often and love you like a brother. I am looking forward to seeing you again. Keep in touch.
After reading that email, I knew exactly why I didn’t go see Chuck, Sherrie or Jeff. It’s because I was scared shitless!!! How long should I stay??? What do we talk about??? Can I look at them without seeing their disease?!?!?! You see, my brother from the Navy IS a much bigger/better person than I am, simply because he DID!!!!!!!!
By no means is this a Ploy to get you to come see me, but it is a way to get YOU to go see someone that needs YOU!!! I strongly suggest that you go see whom ever before it’s to late!!! For those of you that have lost someone with word’s left unsaid, YOU know “EXACTLY” what I’m talking about!!!
When I first started doing the updates, people would email me and tell me how I have inspired and what I have meant to them. I showed my Lil Sisser Kim the several page’s of what you have written. Her response caught me by surprise. She asked : Why do you have to be terminal in order for people to say “SOMETHING” about what you have meant to them?!?!?!?! That’s a perfect question? Why???
Again, this is not a ploy to get you to tell me anything, there is “SOMEONE” that needs to hear from YOU!!! So, that is my challenge to you, let “SOMEONE” know!!!
Always hug like you mean it,
* Please feel free to forward this to ANYONE that you think needs to hear this!!!